[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
A lot
of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a
record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I
say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that
I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You
know why?
Cuz I'm a
CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a
CRIMINAL
[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you
in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a
trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic?
Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin
(Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong
in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops,
somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the
'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends
you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give
me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child,
help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a
prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth
grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me
a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to
stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you
can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin
retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A
Fuck," still won't leave
[Chorus Eminem 2x]
I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a
crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't
gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit
from no one
[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The
baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up
just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was
me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you
sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot
taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor
to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word
...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval
Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you
won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is
pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes
and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as
Em
-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor
cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm
takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't
make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre,
you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let
me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL
[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that
motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta
there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo
Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn,
fuck...
(whistling) how you
doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a
withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag
bitch
and
I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not
gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please
don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill
you
Hurry
the fuck up! {*BOOM*} Thank you!
[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a
bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if
anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back,
shoot the eyewitness
Then fire at the private eye hired to pry in my
business
Die, bitches! Pass this brass pest(?)
Cause Puffy's lucky I
didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my
dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens ain't brave
enough
to say the stuff I say, so this tape is shut
Shit, half the shit I
say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if
it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask
[Chorus 2x]